This morning, somewhere on my daily stops around the web I read the following: "Don't just count your days, make your days count." I thought that was appropriate seeing I just turned 38. Last year, I really could have used this quote. I was living in a triplex in which I was miserable in. I had been there for 12 years. 7 of those years were shared with my ex husband. 3 of those years with the love of my life. The neighbors were sketchy. We had some gossipy ones, we had some drama ones, some drug dealers. I felt stuck in a rut. I had no motivation to do anything. I have heard before that sometimes moving yourself into a new situation is just going to bring your problems with you. On the flip side, I have also heard that sometimes moving yourself out of a situation is exactly what you need to do. Indeed, moving to this new town (which isn't new, I grew up in and around this town), was exactly what I needed.
I lived in the city when I was younger. Around Boston and then around Hartford. It suited me at the time for that time in my life. Then I got stuck in my old town, and stuck some more. For over a year I searched for something, anything, that would come up in our budget so we could get out. There were weeks where I just said "I give up! Nothing is coming up". But my drive to not be miserable would get me looking again, Everyone has gone on the apartment hunt at one time or another, but finding one in a location (or town) that you want, at a price you can afford can be really tricky, especially when this is small town America.
When I go to the local gas station, the coffee hot spot as I call it, (most) everyone here is so nice. I'm pampered with good mornings, and good days. No one is surprised when I do my traditional "Have a happy day". They just bask in the added touch of niceness that they are already swimming in. No this is not cult USA. It's just a friendly, small town that is perfectly situated 10 minutes outside of most places we want to go.
I have motivation, I am happy, happier than I have been in longer than I can recall. The good kind of happy that comes from inside yourself. (Because I firmly believe that all relationships work best when you do what is best for you, and if you are not happy within yourself, you cannot expect others to make you happy). We are settled into our new home, our neighbors are nice and helpful (if not occasionally a little loud, but nothing that is unmanageable), and I am floating in the new weight I have, the one that isn't holding 50 pound of stress upon my shoulders. Is life perfect now? Far from it, I still have my health issues, I still have day to day things that I worry about, but I am happier, and every day I am doing more and more to make my days count. That is something that I can truly be grateful for.