Catching Up on Me

April 7, 2017

 

 

When I started reviving this blog, I knew that I wanted to include some of my writings, my reviews of books and so forth. But I still wanted to be able to write (what I feel capable of sharing) about me. 

Life has been pretty hectic. Mini me got pneumonia and that was a big fight just to get her proper medical treatment. So she's been pretty miserable because pneumonia plus asthma is no fun (well either is no fun really).

My s/o and I have hit a patch that's been rough, and that is constantly weighing heavily on my mind as I feel like we are at a crossroads and I am not sure which road I want to take. Right now it feels like I have been standing at the directional sign for years. 

The anniversary of the loss of my parents is coming up in 5 days, and since I finally bought their stone 2 years ago, the anniversary has gotten easier. It did bring a sense of closure that was 19 years overdue. But it still feels like this ticking time bomb. The year they died was a rough one. A senior in high school, I lost a friend to dehydration and my first kiss right before I lost my parents. There were a few more personal deaths that year and I was just completely done with 1996. 

So with the stress of mini and my relationship, I feel like I am putting on a front. I am sure most mothers will know what I am talking about. Shove all the emotion deep inside because you cannot break in front of your children. Now that isn't to say that Mini and I don't have cries, because we do. Crying can be cathartic and it's important to me that she knows this. But I feel with the stress and the anniversary, that I just can't let go, especially because she has been home from school all week due to being sick.

 

I've also been able to read and review a few books and have picked up a couple editing jobs which have been a huge help to keeping me distracted. 

 

Now we are looking forward to Easter. I didn't raise Mini to believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause. I didn't find out the truth until I was 12ish, and it wrecked me. I felt that I had been lied to my whole life, and that everyone I knew around me, knew the truth, and were in a sense, laughing at my naivety. I didn't want Mini to wake up one day and realize I had been lying to her, because I believe in honesty with her, as much as she is able to handle based off her age. So we've created traditions instead. 

Every year I hide her Easter basket and then I fill plastic eggs with some money, small toys, or treats and I make a path from her bedroom to her basket. Then we usually spend the day taking turns hiding the eggs and doing scavenger hunts. Do you have any holiday traditions that you do? 

 

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